Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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