I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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