I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My liver just had a heart attack.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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