I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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