my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
