i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
