Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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