He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
