the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
