I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just had sex on a roof
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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