Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
