You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I feel great
I just peed on a car
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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