I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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