you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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