Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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