are you still at the devil's house?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
it was like eating out sand paper
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
