is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
