I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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