I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
well, you know. whores of a feather.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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