someone owes me an orgasm
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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