My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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