she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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