So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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