you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
