how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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