We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I said "one day" and that day is not today
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize