I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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