I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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