loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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