I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Where is the hickey?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
