Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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