I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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