You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
