he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Please don't give away my fajitas
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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