she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
