so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
They are going to name an STD after you.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
