he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
