Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
