On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
