i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize