so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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