If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
