since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
