I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
