I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
try to milk me bitch
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
