I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
