i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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