this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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