Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Are my feet made of real feet?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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