I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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