her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
