i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
