No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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