he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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