Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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