If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize