just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
